Can erotic literature ruin your relationships?

By Ellyn Peratikou

Last year Fifty Shades Fever swept the nation and became an instant hit with women the world over. You wouldn’t find a train carriage or bus stop anywhere that wasn’t rife with kindles and copies of the best selling novel. But in fact, women have been indulging in a spot of erotica for decades now, and whilst it was previously considered taboo, it seems we have become rather partial to it.

Many women have said that engaging in a bit of racy reading has done wonders for their sex lives and their relationships in general. As well as giving them some great ideas, they have also admitted that they think it’s a great way to get them in the mood. However, there are always two sides to consider, so I’m asking: Can erotic literature ruin your relationships? This question was met with a resounding ‘No way!’ from all of the lovely ladies I spoke to, they see this material as a bit of fun, a method of expression and empowerment (except Fifty Shades of Grey, how were women meant to feel empowered after reading that? There was absolutely nothing to learn from that book…) Anyway – what do the guys think about this phenomenon, and should we take any notice? Well, many men say they are feeling the pressure to live up to these larger than life characters we’re all reading about, and end up feeling inadequate when it comes to pleasing their women. Some have gone as far as describing it as an ‘intrusion’ into their sex life. Yikes.

The problem? These stories often present unrealistic expectations when it comes to both relationships and sex, and of the women I spoke to, many agreed that they couldn’t help but long for a partner much like the ones they’d read about, but unsurprisingly on most occasions they would be left disappointed. Well no wonder our men are feeling a little inadequate!

Whilst it seems a little far fetched, many feel as though it can almost infringe on their reality when they become caught up in the reverie of passionate encounters and steamy affairs. It’s absolutely fine to fantasize, but I’d like to believe that any woman with half a brain would have the sense to know when it’s time to put down her book and take a cold shower. What I’m trying to say is, by allowing it to become your reality, you are killing any possibility of a relationship.

Recent studies have also found that women who spend copious amounts of time with their heads buried in their Jilly Cooper copies will struggle to establish a relationship. Cue unanimous thunder clap. This, of course, is stating the obvious, and just means she would rather sit at home and read a book than go out to a club where she’ll have a hive of slimy men all over her. If they were conducting a study on women who work five days a week they’d say: ‘Women who work five days a week may struggle to meet someone,’ it’s hardly rocket science.


Do you think erotic novels can get in the way of a relationship, and if so why? We’d love to hear your thoughts so feel free to comment below.

About the author

Ellyn Peratikou is a magazine journalism graduate and freelance writer with a love for all things fashion, lifestyle and travel. You can follow her on Twitter @EllynPera

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