Relationship rows

By at home

Do spats with your significant other leave you raging for hours? Instead of blaming your partner, you may want to look at your parents’ relationship to work out why you just can’t let that argument go…

Whether it’s a lovers’ tiff or a full-blown row, every couple has disagreements from time to time. But if you find yourself feeling absolutely furious after a bust-up, however big or small, then your negative emotions and inability to just let it go could be all down to your parents relationship. In fact, experts say that the better relationship you had with your mother and father as a child, the better you are at getting over arguments as an adult.

Researchers from the University of Minnesota looked at a group of babies born in the mid-1970s until they reached adulthood and discovered that those who had stable relationships with their parents or guardians as children were better equipped at recovering from conflict 20 years later.

In other words, children of parents who were able to manage negative emotions were more likely to grow up to do the same.

Researcher Jessica Salvatore said: ‘We found that people who were insecurely attached as infants but whose adult romantic partners recover well from conflict are likely to stay together. If one person can lead this process of recovering from conflict, it may buffer the other person and the relationship.’

Let’s discuss – are you good at getting over arguments quickly or do you often hold a grudge? Do you think your ability to overcome arguments does depend on your parents’ relationship? Post your thoughts in the comments below, talk to us on Twitter or write on our Facebook wall!


Image: Jörg Lange/DPA/Press Association Images

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