Whacky royal baby names

By Ellyn Peratikou

Although nobody knows what the royal baby is going to be called, it’s likely he’ll be given an orthodox name befitting of a future king (George or James or something of the like). But what if Kate and Wills opt for something completely off the wall? We look at the whacky royal baby names suggested so far and consider the most bizarre options…

 

Joffrey

Imagine the delight of Game of Thrones dorks around the globe if this evil and brattish king’s name transcended fiction and became part of the real royal landscape?

Given the theory of nominative determinism, it’s probably for the best that the royal baby will never be named after a murderous, inbred character with sadistic tendencies. After all, incest and tyranny are so not on trend right now. Even if Kate and Wills are 12th cousins once removed thanks to their common ancestor, despot and dictator Sir Thomas Leighton.

Having said all that, it’s fun to envisage the little prince at future birthday bashes, clad in regal attire and wearing a massive crown, declaring to all the other children: ‘It’s my party, and you’ll cry if I want you to’.

 

Prince

As in the 80s singer. In which case the baby would be named: ‘His Royal Highness Prince Prince of Cambridge’. With that name, there’s a good chance he’d date Princess Tiaamii, daughter of ex-power couple and showbiz royalty, Katie Price and Peter Andre.

Alternatively, the future king might take inspiration from Prince’s song, Kiss, and choose a more down-to-earth kinda gal – just like his father William did. After all, Wills went for Kate despite her ‘working class’ background (read: wealthy parents and aristocratic ties).

We can see little Prince Prince in years to come during his teens, courting a girl with the line: “You don’t have to be rich, to rule my world… but you do need to be well spoken.”

 

Berger

Yes, it’s typically a French or German surname – or the name given to Carrie’s emotionally unstable, novel-writing, motorbike-riding love interest in Sex and the City – but just imagine the puns!

Berger King, Royale with Cheese, Big King… well, that’s about it, actually.

Our other unlikely guesses include: ‘Wombat’, Charles and Diana’s nickname for William as a child, ‘Owain Glyndwr’, the last native Welshman to hold the title of Prince of Wales, ‘Leaf’, so that he could be pals with Brangelina’s kids, and ‘Fresh’, purely because we could refer to him as the Fresh Prince. Now tell us, what bizarre bets would you make on the royal baby’s name?

Words: Heledd Williams

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